The life of Tommy Joe Ratliff
by PeaceLoveAdommy
Summary: "My life is full of ups and downs and turn arounds and no one is around to hear my screams" After a four month break up, Tommy is left to cope with the pain, and only drinks it away, maybe there is somone to take away his pain. Adommy/Lambliff
1. Welcome to my life

The life of Tommy Joe Ratliff

Chapter 1: No where fast

**Disclaimer: Decided to make a lot of changes that are different from my other writings. Something that no one (I think) has really done before, Sorry it has taken for ever for any update period. It was pretty hard with school wrapping up, and my laptop breaking. **

**But I finally convinced my dad (by not telling him at all) that I can download this open office thing so I can update while my laptop is getting fixed, and as always; review and tell me what you think... and I DO NOT OWN Adam Lambert or Tommy Joe Ratliff, or any other person who happens to pop up in this story... No matter how much I wish I can own Adommy I do not... (:**

_**Rated M, for language and later chapters**_

Life is full of ups and downs and turn around but my life is on a straight plummeting trip to no where fast; and no one is around to hear my screams.

My name is Thomas Joe Ratliff and welcome to this shit hole I call my life. Sunny California where all is good, happy, and oh give me a fucking break. If I can pack my shit up and move I would if I could...take the clothes that are on my back, my bass guitar, and freaking six pack that's all I need to survive.

But here I am in this same fucking bar, on this same fucking bar stool, in this same fucking shit ass state; drinking my pain away..for the moment. It has been four months since she dumped me...left me cold, alone, on an empty street. She said there was someone better, someone who wasn't afraid to get tied down.. Someone who I would knock the living daylights out of the second I seen them... Someone who wasn't me and it fucking hurt.

That night was the last time I seen her... It was like she never existed. Why did she walk into my life, just to walk straight back out? My mind grimaced at the flash back as I put the bottle to my lips... The room was blurry; I have no idea how long I've been sitting here... But judging by the spinning of the walls I'd say a pretty long time. I set the bottle back on the bar, and awaited for the next drink.

"Tommy... Tommy..." The gray haired man said from behind the bar, his eyes full of concerns he took the empty bottle and got rid of it.

"Tommy... don't you think you've had enough. I'm worried about you.

"I'll be...I'll..I...I'll be done whwwhen I say I'm done."

My voice came out in a slur and I extended my hand out for another drink... The gray haired man sighed and handed over another Corona.

Just then the bar door swung open and an odd group of people came in; there was three I think... or four...no wait... focus Tommy, there is three. I tried to make my eyes focus more as I took another swig of my beer... two of the members of the group sat in bar stools next to mine; as the other man walked over to the jukebox to choose a song...That one was tall...wore skin tight black pants, and lots and lots of leather; with dark raven hair, and a blue streak that shined even in the dim light. I don't have to be sober to know that he was a total flamer. All of a sudden he turned around and smiled...Shit, I thought. I got caught staring but dammn does that man look beautiful, beautiful? Seriously Ratliff what are you thinking! Maybe dear old Jesse here was right; enough, is enough.

"Well..Upseedaisys then..." I tried getting up, the whole room rushed between my eyes...then DARK...

"Oh my god..." The man by the jukebox ran over to me.

"Is he okay!" The man continued looking at the gray haired bartender.

The bartender looked at him amused then looked down at my body...  
"Obviously he had to much to drink, and hit his head on the floor... He is out."

The raven haired one scoffed. "Well aren't you just a ball of sunshine and fucking rainbows." he spat.

"There is a person passed out cold on your floor and your okay with it!"

"Well, what do you want me to do about it.!" The bartender yelled getting fed up with the cocky raven haired person in front of him.

"Nothing...Monte...Longineu, help me" The raven haired called to his friends, for help.

"But Adam we don't even know where he lives..." Monte replied.

"Just help me..." Adam sighed.

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

* * *

"Tommy" the voice giggled.

"I've missed you... I..I am sooo sorry."

"Savannah?" My voice came out as a plea, my arms wrapping around her in a warm embrace...my whole body was warm and I felt complete with her arms around me...But wait they don't feel like her arms... my eyes shot open, and my head fucking hurt...

"Where am I" I still feel arms around me, and brisk walking..

"You had to much to drink" a voice answered. "You tried getting up and you hit your head on the floor... I didn't know where you lived, so my friends brought you to my place..." My eyes focused on the surroundings around me, then up at the person carrying me...It was the man from the jukebox at the bar... damn it...

"Um, thanks" I stammered " You really didn't need to do that."

"The bartender was fucking rude, I wasn't just going to let you lay there."

"Thanks," I said again as Adam opened another door this time I laughed.

"You know I can probably walk now?"

The raven haired man laughed too, his laugh was adorable...

"You could of mentioned that sooner, but to late here we are." he continued sitting down on an oversized bed. My eyes skimmed around the room. The walls were black as well as the floor; glitter was plastered everywhere...cute fluffy pillows...and feathers...

"What the fuck."

Adam laughed again. "Don't you like it?"

"I never seen anything like it before" and it was the truth, Adam smiled like he received the greatest compliment in the world and left.

"Hey wait" I called out in a daze. "Where are you going to sleep.!"

"On the couch, don't worry about it...see you in the morning... goodnight." Adam smiled turning off the light.

"Night." I replied taking off my creepers laying down. Who the hell is this guy? I don't even know his name, but he treats me like he's known me for years; I sort of feel bad for that flamer remark I thought about earlier. He really is a sweetheart, and fucking beautiful; damn Tommy... Seriously what is wrong with you! FUCK. What am I going to do!


	2. The Hangover

**The life of Tommy Joe Ratliff  
Chapter 2: The Hangover **

**Disclaimer: **  
_As always; review and tell me what you think... give my ideas, of what you want to see,and I DO NOT OWN Adam Lambert or Tommy Joe Ratliff, or any other person who happens to pop up in this story... No matter how much I wish I can own Adommy I do not... (:_

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The next morning I felt more like shit then ever; my whole body hurt, my head was pounding and I smell like.. I smell like...

"Is that Dior Homme!"  
"Yes, I love it." Adam smiled walking in with a tray of waffles, juice, and Tylenol.  
"Umm I thought I would make you breakfast in bed. I know how hang overs are.."

"Thanks, uh..." I tired hard to remember if the man before me told me his name or not... I looked at him dumbfounded thinking maybe if I stare at him long enough the answer would be there.

"Adam." He smiled setting the tray over my body.  
"I never caught your name as well, your face was sort of planted to the floor"

I tried to laugh but my head was freaking pounding...  
"I'm Thomas...but call me Tommy."

"Haha, well Tommy. Do you normally pass out in bars and have to stay in random guys houses."

"Ermm no, this is sort of the first time for me." I sighed popping two Tylenol in my mouth and washing it down with the juice that was set down on my tray.

"I'm sorry about all of this. Rough time lately."

He frowned sitting on the edge of the bed.  
"Is it about that Savannah chick you were mumbling about last night!" Adam asked softly placing his hand on my leg. I shook it off growing a little mad... how is it any of his business; why should he care.? I hate talking about it...

"I'm sorry" Adam whispered getting up.  
"I thought talking about it could maybe help, because obviously you see how drinking about it leads you to do."

I frowned biting my lip, he was right; but I don't even know him.. why would he want to hear my four months of problems?

"I really hate seeing people hurt, I know you don't know me; but I am all ears" He continued as if he read my mind

I looked up at him sadly, my heart was yearning telling me to tell him; but my mind was screaming at me telling me to keep it all inside...

Adam smiled plopping onto his stomach and kicking his feet.  
"You know..." He said with a smile on his face.  
"If you tell me your secret... I'll tell you mine."

Alright seriously that is to fucking cute... I have to cave...  
"Fine" I sighed. "Because you are so damn adorable...(oh shit I just said that out loud) I'll tell you."

Giggling because he got his way Adam clapped his hands and stared at me waiting for me to continue.

"Her name was Savannah... I've dated her throughout high school, she was my high school sweetheart and I loved her more then the whole world, (or so I thought,) She had long brown hair, pretty green eyes, and a smile to kill. Everything was fine... but then..."

"Then what." Adam asking placing his hand on my leg, concern in his eyes.

"Then she broke up with me." the words came out in a rush.  
"She found someone else. Someone better I guess."  
I finished up trying not to cry; but all those feeling wouldn't go away when a pair of arms went around me, and oddly enough it was warm...comforting... I hugged Adam back feeling the need to let loose, and cry... to let all the loose streams down my face; and I did. Adam rocked my back and forth as I cried...and I felt safe... all these feelings were pulsating throughout my body... I don't know what to do, I don't know what is happening... I'm beyond confused so I cried harder. His hand is now running soothingly through my hair, and he is whispering things like:  
"I'm so sorry.", "  
That stupid bitch.",  
"You deserve so much better sweetie, so much better. Don't beat yourself up, hon."

I looked up at him, calming myself down...his blue eyes are full of worry and something I couldn't quite put my finger on.. it made my heart skip a beat...I really don't know what has gotten into myself, and it's frightening me... and he really shouldn't be feeling worried for me.. he doesn't even know me...

"Anyways." I laughed nervously...  
"I believe it's your turn to exchange a secret..."

"Okay, okay." Adam laughed his blue eyes gleaming.  
"Truth or dare.!"

"What..." I laughed, how does this deal with a secret... cute Adam cute.  
"Just answer truth or dare!"

"Truth." I answered still a little confused.

"Okay." Adam smiled hopping onto his knees...  
"What would you say if..."

"If what...?" I asked pushing him to continue.

He smiled leaning forward.  
"If I wanted to kiss you..."

I stared at him; my ears not believing what they had just heard; and my heart doing tumblesaults within in my chest. Wow my feelings are so out of control lately.

"Well." Adam said curiously...raising his eyebrow.

Well a kiss is the least I can do, he has already done so much for me.

"I would say go for it." I whispered with a smile, seeing Adam's eyes light up as he leaned in closer; feeling his warm breath against my neck made my breathing hitch. Adam smiled confidently when his forehead touched mine... I smiled nervously and waited. Then it happened. His lips landed softly on mine... The kiss was sweet, and tender... nothing sexual about it. My heart was screaming as he cupped my face, his tongue graced upon my bottom lip and I shivered as it slip in between, and skimmed across my own tongue. My hands ran carefully through his hair... then he pulled back...

"I'm sorry." he said ashamed hopping out of the bed.  
"Sorry for what!" I asked, completely confused.

"You are not over her...I should of known better, I shouldn't of even thought about kissing you."

"Adam.. it's okay..."

"No, no it's not okay." Adam admitted.  
"Your straight., like you would like it anyways." he spoke looking at the floor.

I bit nervously on my lip... and grabbed for his hand; letting my crazy emotions take a leap forward and pulled him towards me...

"...Actually Adam I liked it...ummm I never had anything quite like it...not even well you know.. and I don't know how, we don't know each other at all, and your a dude... no offense... but there was so much raw passion its just I don't know, the kiss is just wow... and now I'm rambling...so I probably look like an idiot... and my feelings are going up and down like a roller coaster and now your probably like whats this kid on...emotions.. over a kiss... and.."

"Shhhh.." Adam laughed pressing his fingers against my lips.  
"Slow it down there glitterbaby.. glitterbaby..don't know why but it suits you... anyways.. oh shit.. where was I.!"

"Tommy!"  
"Hmm"  
"Where was I!"  
"I don't know.. you just told me to shh.." My voice sounded muffled against his finger and he laughed.  
"You are to fucking adorable Tommy" Adam giggled.

Tommy smiled and looked at the clock, his heart sank and he pulled out his cellphone...

"Here" I said hanging Adam my cellphone.  
"Put your number in"

"Well..." Adam smiled.  
"What!"

"I usually don't let guys who stay the night and leave the next day my numbers."

I frowned and he chuckled wrapping his arm around my shoulder.  
"But since I like you... I'll give you it. But wait.. you do the same" Adam smiled hanging me his phone... "Give me your twitter to if you have one."

"Okay" Tommy laughed...

"They exchanged information and he was on his way.


	3. Battles with myself

The Life of Tommy Joe Ratliff:  
Chapter 3: Battles with Myself

**I do NOT own Tommy or Adam; They copyright their own sexy asses...**

******Sorry for such a short chapter... Chapter 4 is like 4 times longer**

* * *

My stomach twisted in knots again as I left. I feel guilty! Why the hell do I feel guilty! That boy was nothing but a sweetheart...and I feel guilty! Savannah left me why can't I just get over it and just be happy...

I was drowning in my thoughts as the city passed by me in a blur. It seems like Adam lives on the nice rich part of town. Jaw dropping houses, and complex's, as well as shopping centers everywhere you look. Expensive cars rushed past me, honking as I crossed the street ignoring the cross sign, apparently I was soupse to stop; oh well.

The churning in my stomach began to pull the strings on my heart and was only getting worst...What do I do... to be feeling bad about it... unless this feeling I'm having isn't guilt at all; but what the hell else could it be? More buildings past, and the bar came into sight. My stomach did more flips and turns I thought I was going to be sick. I just walked past it, I was so not in the mood to drink. I can't believe the words going through my head right now... But they were.

I got to my apartment building and climbed up the stairs to my floor... my apartment wasn't as nice as Adam's top dollar house but at least it's a roof over my head. I turned the knob and walked in, ignoring the mess I grew to be accustomed to.. it became such a pigsty since the last four months. I picked up my bass, plopping on the couch and plucking at a few strings sighing as I did so.

I can't stop thinking about him...his face, his eyes...that little chuckle he does when he laughs, and the way his face looks when he smiles. Augh now I'm smiling... I'm fucking bipolar...thats it.. IM BIPOLAR..I figured it all the fuck out. I set my bass down covering my face with my hands. This is seriously not happening, I'm going mad...what am I going to fucking do? Just then my phone started vibrating in my pants pocket; I sighed taking my phone out and looking at the message, it was from twitter.

* * *

**Adam Lambert:**_TommyJoeRatliff heyyyy there glitter baby you wanna chill ;D_

I laughed before I replied, does ho not notice I just came from his house!

**AdamLambert:**(oh fuck that feeling is coming back)_Umm no man, hangovers suck, Ima just chill at home; Mayb some other time (:_

**Adam Lambert:**_Tommy Joe Ratliff Awe shit man I forgot, I'll let you go and rest then sweetie, ttyl?_

He is seriously to sweet... I frowned as I tweeted him back.

**AdamLambert**_Thanks, deff man :)_

* * *

I threw my phone on the table and closed my eyes in attempt to go to sleep; but my feelings are eating away at me, and I know I'm going to loose sleep over it...whatever IT is... he actually finds Adam brave that he is so open with his sexuality, and so sure of himself. When I myself... is questioning everything I once knew... once... "loved"... once believed was the way of life... Ever since the breakup with Savannah happened.. I began to feel differently about everything.. and now.. I'm just questioing everything even more now.

Is that what all of THIS is about! The "thing" I thought was "guilt", is it fear... fear of what I may really be...of what I might want... of WHO I may want? Will this ever end... this NEVER ENDING battle with myself... Will I ever find my true sexuality...  
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK...


	4. Finally Happy Part 1

The Life of Tommy Joe Ratliff  
Chapter 4: Actually Happy  
**There are two parts of this chapter...**  
_I decided I should break it up a bit, leave a cliff hanger... because I rock like that...PLEASE DONT KILL ME ;D_

* * *

_**Adam's POV**_

I'm a nervous wreck, I really hope he doesn't notice... No Adam he is defiantly going to notice, look at you... you can't stay still; it's no wonder I kept Longineu and Monte by my side, they keep me at ease. Don't get me wrong I more then enjoy having Tommy around, but something in me makes me go crazy when I'm by myself with him. Nervous is a feeling I'm not quite familiar with. I haven't felt this way about anyone since BR..._No I'm not even going to go there_ I thought to myself as I fidgeted uncomfortably in my oversized black lazy boy chair.

There was a knock on the door, and I knew it was time to get my game face on, and get these nervous feelings away. I'm aware of what I want; I'm just hoping he wants the same thing and I don't screw it up... I got up from my chair and walked over to the mirror to see if I was presentable... I should of done that a few minutes ago instead of laying around on my ass... I smiled at my reflection my hair was perfect not a spot out of place.. and my makeup glam and beautiful as always, my outfit was something black.. something casual, and comfortable... but nice on account of the evening I have planned out for us today... if everything goes according to plan. There was another loud knock on the door, and I knew Tommy good enough to know there was a smart-ass comment coming soon after.

"Hey glamglam princess, stop messing around with your makeup and open the door!"  
"Oh just wait a damn minute" I yelled sarcastically.

"Hurry up and leave; shoo... out the window with you.." I was trying so hard not to laugh when I heard Tommy gasp from outside the door; granted I feel sort of bad now...but I was only joking around..

I smiled and opened the door to a now frowning and obviously upset Tommy.

I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and smiled even bigger.

"Who was that!" Tommy asked dryly looking up at me with hurt in his eyes...  
"Why jealous?" I asked pulling him into a hug.  
"No one was here.. I was just pulling your leg Tommy."

I feel really really bad now.. he looked so hurt... I should of known better...  
I just wanted to hold him in my arms and kiss him..make him feel better... But I didn't instead I leaned forward kissing him on the cheek, and whispered an I'm sorry in his ear; grabbing his hand, and walking off...out of the house.. and into the city...

* * *

The walk was quite but I can tell Adam forgave me by the way he leaned comfortably into my side... The city past by us in a blur and he was all I could see... This is what I want... this feels so right... It has only been a few weeks... yet nothing was official... But I'm questioning if I even should... I looked down at the blonde beauty before me whom was silent and content..he looked up at me meeting my gaze and flashed me a smile. My mind was racing... **B..but what if he isn't over Savannah!**  
Everything in my body tells me... that this.. this right now was right... Tommy in my arms... and the feelings I was having was true... Everything in that mans eyes seem so clear... so much healthier, and he seems so much happier... Come to think of it Tommy rarely drinks if at all anymore... Not only all of that but he even makes me happy... and makes the past seem like a distant memory... the pain...the blood.. and the tears long gone...

We were walking into the restaurant.. one of my favorite restaurants The Kalypzo(I was watching Pirates of the C what do you expect xD) to be exact... We received stares, and dirty glances from the hostess that seated us... and we smirked at each other as she walked away. We spent most of the time staring at each other, eating the food as it was given to us... When we were both finished eating I extended my hand across the table... and he took in his own... all was silent but a smile broke onto his face, and his voice broke the silence...

"Hey Adam." His voice was soft but teasing...  
"What is it glitterbaby!" I questioned staring into his eyes... the beautiful pool of chocolate pulling me in...

"Truth or dare..." I chuckled in my seating finding it quite amusing and cute that he would approach a question the same way I have the first "official" day we met.. and when I mean official... I mean his face not being planted into a bar floor, and actually being able to talk... I pondered for a few seconds.. then smirked...  
"How about dare.." I answered... knowing what Tommy had in mind...

"Hmmm.." Tommy was thinking.. but his eyes told me everything..  
"I dare you to kiss me..."

Tommy said now kneeling on the seat of the booth and staring at my lips...  
I leaned in closer closing the space between my lips and his, pressing them softly together, having them mounted as one... it was sweeter then last time... then I felt I smile creep onto his lips, and mine.. Butterflies went throughout my stomach and he pulled me closer, obviously a heat rising up between both of us...we were both no kneeling on the seat of the booth, our chests pressing against each other, our lips moving as one... People were staring, some in awe; and others in disgust... Okay maybe we were going a little out of hand with the PDA type of thing, we are practically on top of each other... I'm pretty sure they would react the same with if Tommy was kissing a girl...but not me but I didn't care.. So I deepened the kiss, pressing our bodies even closer together... loving the feeling that I have when my lips are pressed against his... and the way he makes me feel in general... right at this moment... I knew I seriously knew I wanted to be his no matter what... no doubts are in my mind... The only thing left to do was ask...

The butterflies that I felt from earlier started back up again... I giggled pulling away... knowing exactly what I wanted to say... but only managed to say.. "So..."  
My hands were shaking and I couldn't even move... Tommy's hands grasped my hands... and sudden memories from the past rushed through my mind... all of the pain.. all of the bullshit.. all of the heartbreak... My head shot down and a twinge of pain hit my heart as his face, that assholes face burned and enveloped through my mind... making me remember...ever last detail... I really didn't want to get hurt again... he seem oblivious about me "secret" which was a shocker.. I don't know anyone who didn't know.. but yet again I was glad.. for more reasons then one.. I'd rather him not know... But was I really willing to take a risk.. take a chance... on trusting someone... with loving someone, and them loving me... was I really WILLING to take that chance..

I looked back up at that beautiful face that made my heart skip beats from the moment I met him... at that bar... the moment I walked through that door... the good memories enveloping the bad ones... and visions of Tommy, and the past few weeks together took over my mind... I don't know why I was having any doubts but I was...

He gave my hands a comforting squeeze, staring into my eyes full of concern...  
"So, what!" He asked...  
I mumbled some words that didn't make any sense, even to me..he dropped my hands... and cupped my face...  
"Sweetie, you not making any sense... now again from the beginning." he commented soothingly rubbing soft circles on my cheek...  
**Sweetie! that's the first time he has ever called me something besides my name, well besides glam glam princess...**

The one word has given me the confidence to say the words I've been itching to say all night, since the moment I walked out of the door...

"Will you be mine..."

* * *

I would love to put Tommy's POV in the chapter.. but..  
it's not only the fact that I love cliff hangers..but my fingers really hurt...

so.. I'll make a chapter 4.2.. pleasee don't kill me...  
I blame Carpel Tunnel xD...


End file.
